Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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