The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
