you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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