Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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