Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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