And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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