i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
