Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
