I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need to calm my uterus...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
