There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
