sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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