I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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