U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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