so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
