I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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