they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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