Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
