Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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