I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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