just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize