I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
