I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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