this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When are your genitals available?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
