and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
People with herpes should wear stickers.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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