All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
