i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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