I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
