from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
