is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
