im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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