I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
