can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
