apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
