Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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