So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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