i barfeds in our rink
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
