Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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