I think I just saw someone hide a body.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
