so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
