At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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