There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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