just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
