Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
