Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
