I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
