so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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