the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
