New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
