there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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