i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
