3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
nut hugger
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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